Ex-Husband Funnies. . .

I can laugh now, because the pain is gone for me. The burden of the hurt, shame, "why", disappointment, etc. is no longer there for me and hasn't been for sometime. So now, exchanges between Paul and I no longer infuse me with anger, but instead, more often, infuse me with hilarity. Truly, I find it comical at times.

I noticed the other day that there is a condo for rent across the street from Paul. I have a girlfriend who is going through a divorce and needs a place to rent as her husband is keeping their marital home. She's a mom in Madison's school and her daughter is friends with Madison. Being the problem solver that I am naturally I've been keeping my eyes peeled for a rental in the Donelson/Hermitage area for her. I noticed the one by Paul and forgot to get the phone number for it. When I mentioned it to my friend she was very interested to find out more about it, so I told her I'd get the number for her. Both of us thought that it would be nice for the girls to be right across the street from one another (when Madison's at her dad's house), plus it's a nice neighborhood and not too far from school. Everything you want for your children. I did think of the comedy of having a friend living across from my ex-husband, but there was no ulterior motive to suggesting the place to her.

Here's where it starts to get funny. I called Paul and left him a message on his voicemail to ask him if he'd go outside to get the number for me so I wouldn't have to drive over there to do it myself. Here goes a paraphrase of the conversation that followed once he called me back:

Paul: "Your message was fuzzy. What do you need me to do?"
Amber: "I noticed the place across from you is for rent. Can you go outside and get the phone number for me please?"
Paul: "Who wants it?"
Amber: "That doesn't matter. Can you please get me the number, so I don't have to drive over there to get it myself?"
Paul: "I have a friend who might be interested in it."
Amber: "Well that's good. Can you please get the number for me or do I need to drive over there and get it myself?"
Paul: "What? Are you trying to spy on me or something. You are not going to put one of your friends across the street from me so they can spy on me and my every action."
Amber: "Paul, you have no control over who rents the place. It's not yours to rent. I have no desire to spy on you or anything of the kind. I know someone who needs a place and there's one available by you. I'll get the number myself."
Paul: "Amber, you're sick. You can't have one of your friends move across the street from your ex-husband. Who does that? You are psycho. It's not only an invasion of my privacy, it's damaging for your daughter."
Amber: "Thanks for nothing. Nevermind. I'll take care of it myself."

A little paranoid I think, but his paranoia makes for good comic relief for me.