Tokens
We've implemented a token system in our house. I purchased blue and clear glass floral marbles (the kind you'd find in the bottom of a vase). These are our "tokens." The blue ones are worth 5 tokens and the clear ones are worth one token. A token equates (once accumulated) to a dollar. Madison has a responsibility chart on the fridge and everyday that she successfully completes all of her responsibilities she earns a clear token. Each time she earns "hardest worker" at gymnastics she earns a blue token. This is getting expensive already as she gets hardest worker almost every time. Gymnastics twice a week, hardest worker twice a week = $10 a week. OUCH! Obviously this is an incentive that's working well because it truly has motivated Madison. When we watched my friend's boys last weekend, Madison was quite the helper. She helped the boys with everything and was quite the babysitter, so she earned a token for her help that day. When school starts back up I'm sure we'll add tokens as incentives for report card success as well.
She can lose tokens too! Lately we've been struggling with being grateful. Ungratefulness requires a token to be taken away. The other thing we've been struggling with is learning how to end a good time graciously. Madison has a hard time leaving a fun situation. She whines and pouts and begs to stay longer. So, this behavior also causes her to lose a token. When she accumulates a significant amount of tokens she can trade them in for something of value . . . a new video game, a new leotard, whatever she wants (with my approval of course!).
Other news . . . our June 11th court date as postponed. We filed our counter-petition and now we're being required to attempt mediation first. Our mediation date is set for August 9th. This should be an interesting waste of time and money. Then we have a new hearing date set for September 26th assuming we don't find resolution in mediation. I fully expect to be in a hearing on the 26th.
We've implemented a token system in our house. I purchased blue and clear glass floral marbles (the kind you'd find in the bottom of a vase). These are our "tokens." The blue ones are worth 5 tokens and the clear ones are worth one token. A token equates (once accumulated) to a dollar. Madison has a responsibility chart on the fridge and everyday that she successfully completes all of her responsibilities she earns a clear token. Each time she earns "hardest worker" at gymnastics she earns a blue token. This is getting expensive already as she gets hardest worker almost every time. Gymnastics twice a week, hardest worker twice a week = $10 a week. OUCH! Obviously this is an incentive that's working well because it truly has motivated Madison. When we watched my friend's boys last weekend, Madison was quite the helper. She helped the boys with everything and was quite the babysitter, so she earned a token for her help that day. When school starts back up I'm sure we'll add tokens as incentives for report card success as well.
She can lose tokens too! Lately we've been struggling with being grateful. Ungratefulness requires a token to be taken away. The other thing we've been struggling with is learning how to end a good time graciously. Madison has a hard time leaving a fun situation. She whines and pouts and begs to stay longer. So, this behavior also causes her to lose a token. When she accumulates a significant amount of tokens she can trade them in for something of value . . . a new video game, a new leotard, whatever she wants (with my approval of course!).
Other news . . . our June 11th court date as postponed. We filed our counter-petition and now we're being required to attempt mediation first. Our mediation date is set for August 9th. This should be an interesting waste of time and money. Then we have a new hearing date set for September 26th assuming we don't find resolution in mediation. I fully expect to be in a hearing on the 26th.
posted by Forever Amber at 5:25 AM
3 Comments:
You're such a good mommy. It sounds like a great system and one that is working.
You had already told me about the hearing. I'm so sorry that it takes so long to have this resolved. I pray that everything runs more smoothly than you could imagine and it is quickly put behind you.
I was wondering if Tisra had read this while I was reading. We just had a conversation today about allowances and how to handle childhood responsibility. I like the tokens as they represent money but are not money, and can be taken away. That's something I hadn't thought of before. Madison is a great kid!
Gaaa! I hate it that you have to go through this with Paul. I can't imagine him articulating to a mediator why he thinks you're an unfit mother and the mediator buying it. But I'm praying for you guys. I was in that spot once with my ex and I didn't like it. I despise the thought that someone I don't know has the power to tell me what to do with my child. Thankfully he walked out of the picture and Travis adopted her and it's been settled for quite some time now. This will all work out for you too.
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