Paul and I had our required mediation yesterday to see if we could resolve the petition he filed on 6/5 and the counter petition I filed in July. After four hours of mediation we actually resolved everything. He admitted that I was not an unfit or dangerous mother and the mediator straightened him out on his other issues as well.
Essentially the entire headache was about money. He wanted a reduction in child support. Unfortunately Tennessee has a child support law that is very unfair and essentially screws motivated parents and rewards deadbeat parents. So he got what he wanted. His $400 a month was reduced to $187 a month. This amount barely covers 1/2 of Madison's monthly child care and health insurance. It does not touch a single cent of all of her other expenses. I'm 100% responsible for everything else. My atty and the mediator both suggested I get active in communicating with our state rep and state senator as they recognize that the child support law as currently written is very unfair in situations like mine.
The irony is that Paul fully expected that I would have to owe him child support. Believe it or not, with the Tennessee law it does turn out that way sometimes. . . the custodial parent will pay 100% of the child's expenses AND still owe the non-custodial parent child support. This is what he was banking on. So, I should count myself fortunate that it did not turn out that way.
The ridiculous part of all of it is that we both spent more than a year's worth of child support on legal fees. Who really loses here? YES. . . Madison. That's all money that could have been put to her benefit.
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID
I feel like I was victorious yesterday. Afterall, it is just money. The important stuff was decided in my favor!
Thank you EVERYONE for your prayers, and support. I am such a lucky girl to have so many wonderful friends that stand behind me. I feel so incredibly blessed and I don't take any of you for granted.
Love you all!!!
Amber
Essentially the entire headache was about money. He wanted a reduction in child support. Unfortunately Tennessee has a child support law that is very unfair and essentially screws motivated parents and rewards deadbeat parents. So he got what he wanted. His $400 a month was reduced to $187 a month. This amount barely covers 1/2 of Madison's monthly child care and health insurance. It does not touch a single cent of all of her other expenses. I'm 100% responsible for everything else. My atty and the mediator both suggested I get active in communicating with our state rep and state senator as they recognize that the child support law as currently written is very unfair in situations like mine.
The irony is that Paul fully expected that I would have to owe him child support. Believe it or not, with the Tennessee law it does turn out that way sometimes. . . the custodial parent will pay 100% of the child's expenses AND still owe the non-custodial parent child support. This is what he was banking on. So, I should count myself fortunate that it did not turn out that way.
The ridiculous part of all of it is that we both spent more than a year's worth of child support on legal fees. Who really loses here? YES. . . Madison. That's all money that could have been put to her benefit.
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID
I feel like I was victorious yesterday. Afterall, it is just money. The important stuff was decided in my favor!
Thank you EVERYONE for your prayers, and support. I am such a lucky girl to have so many wonderful friends that stand behind me. I feel so incredibly blessed and I don't take any of you for granted.
Love you all!!!
Amber
posted by Forever Amber at 5:48 AM
3 Comments:
I am speechless. Eric and I were just having a conversation the other day about how a friend of his pays child support of about $1200 for his two children that are now living in the home of his ex-wife who is remarried and is able to stay home with the kids based on the new husband's salary alone. And then there are stories like your's and I'm just speechless. But, you're right, it's just money and the greater victory has been achieved. We all knew you were a good mommy, and God only knows why you had go through this to prove it but I'm so glad it is now behind you. XOXOX
Wow. I feel a little sick right now but thankful for you and Madison that she's staying right where she is. You were vindicated yesterday and Pauls character was revealed to more than just you. And you will still be the primary caretaker and influence in Madison's life. God is good.
A tough day I know, but thankfully, it is over. I'm too tired right now to comment as I'd like but you know I'm cheering for you.
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