The Only Child

We all know the reputation that "the only child" gets in our society. They are the spoiled child who never learns to share and can be selfish their entire life. They are often the ones who don't learn compromise because they never had to compromise with siblings. They always got what they wanted, when they wanted. Many "only child" adults take pride in telling you they were the only child and how privileged they grew up because of this status.

I have an "only child." She'll be six this Sunday. Can you believe I have a six year old? I can't. Is she spoiled? In many ways. . . yes. She gets my undivided love and attention. The majority of her clothes are new and not hand-me-downs, as she has no older siblings to hand things down to her. She doesn't have to fight over who gets a window seat in the car every time we venture out. She rarely has to share her toys and belongings. Truly, very little stands between her and what she wants most of the time. So, by most people's standards, she'd be considered spoiled to some degree. I'd like to think she's only spoiled because of the privileges of being an "only child" and not because of any effort on my part to do so. Anyone who's seen me in the role of mom would probably attest to the fact that I am a "tough love" sort of mother. I don't protect her from everything that may harm her, but instead live by the motto . . . "she'll only do it once." I have high expectations for her and I don't (nor have I ever) treated her like a baby. More typically than not, when there's a conflict between her and another child, I'll side with the other child.

Anyhow, I got off on a tangent there. The purpose of my post today was not to brag on me, but to brag on Madison. She is a very strong willed child. I can hear all of you snickering and making comments of how you know who she gets that trait from. Anyhow, that's a good trait, though it can be seen as a negative one. Balancing that trait in Madison is her compassion. She can be so endearing at times, it amazes me and blesses me. One of the things she does that makes me most proud of her is the way she gives her things away. If another child compliments her on something she has, Madison's response is usually "you can have it if you want." I've always allowed this to happen regardless of what the item is she's giving away. She has made the choice to give it away and understands when she does so that it is not going to be replaced. Every time she has done this, she has NEVER come to regret doing so. This is a REGULAR occurrence.

Yesterday afternoon she asked for change to throw into a fountain. I told her I had no change as I gave all the change I had to her for children's church earlier that morning. I asked if she remembered to put it in their offering, and she said "I only put two pennies in. I gave the rest to the other Madison because I saw that she didn't have any to put in. She didn't ask for it, I just wanted her to have some money to put in so she wouldn't feel left out." Rather than give the "other Madison" the two pennies or a single coin from her pocket, she gave her all of the silver change and kept the coins with the least monetary value for herself to place in the offering. This didn't really come as a surprise to me, because this is what Madison does all the time, but it still blows me away every time I stumble across such conversations with my daughter. She will be six years old next Sunday and yet can exhibit more maturity, understanding, compassion, and selflessness than many adults I know. Did I mention that she's a spoiled, "only child?"