I'm the token single girl.
Not exactly a title I revel in, but it's true. My church has 200-300 people on any given Sunday. Of those people it's apparent that I must be the ONLY single girl in my age group. Aside from me you have single youths (18 and under) and single widows. Yep, that's it. So lucky me, right? Not so much.
Over the past few months there's a single gentleman who has made his interest in me pretty apparent. . . too apparent. But I thought I was equally apparent in my lack of interest without going to the extent of coming out and verbalizing the fact that I find him creepy. He's the type that stares at you, invades your personal space, and has THE VERY SAME conversation with you EVERY WEEK for the purpose of having an excuse to talk to you. I have found myself skipping Sunday School on many occasions just to avoid close quarters with this guy. Yesterday, he finally mustered up the courage to actually ask me out. AARRGGGHHHH! I wasn't offended that he asked me out. I know how un-nerving the dating process can be and I know how uncomfortable the fear of rejection can be. What I was offended by is the fact that he, again, comes to me with THE VERY SAME conversation he does every week, and when I think I'm free to leave, he grabs me by the arm to pull me closer to him so he can "ask me a question." He proceeds by asking me if I'd attend a concert that night with him, all while being too far into my personal space and making me completely uncomfortable. Needless to say, I kindly offered my regrets to his proposal.
Aside from creepy boy (who we will protect by leaving nameless), last week I had an older gentlemen (I'm guessing he's in his 60s) ask me how old I was and if I was seeing anyone regularly. Of course he had to do this in front of people who were sitting around me who could hear and see this exchange. Needless to say, they all erupted in laughter, and I was left a lovely shade of red as I had found myself more embarrassed than I have been in some time. Now, I understood he wasn't asking me for his own interest, but that is what all my spectators thought which made the situation that much more uncomfortable. The kind gentleman was thinking of his 35 year old son and thought that he'd like me to meet him. He went on to "sell" his son to me by telling me what a great guy he is and what he does for a living and what things he enjoys, etc., etc. His sales pitch came after I kindly offered my regrets to his proposition.
If this sort of activity continues, I think I may have to find a larger church where I am not the token single girl. I enjoy being the center of attention, but this type of attention makes me very uncomfortable.
Note to all my friends and my fellow church congregates: If you have someone you're trying to set me up with, my first impression is that person must be desperate if they need you to find them a date. If they truly are not desperate, I suggest a better way to introduce us is to arrange a time when we'll be in a common place and allow us to decide for ourselves, naturally, whether or not we want to meet without you suggesting to either of us that we should meet.
Note to someone who thinks they may be interested in me: If you find yourself flirting with me and I seem kind but am not flirting in return that means I'm too nice to be rude (and there's a chance that I enjoy your company), but I'm not interested in you romantically. If you find me girlish and smiling and returning your flirtations, chances are I'm enjoying you and wouldn't mind the opportunity to get to know you better. Oh, and try to be more creative in making conversation with me from one week to anoter. Please don't start every conversation with "So, how's Madison doing?"
Not exactly a title I revel in, but it's true. My church has 200-300 people on any given Sunday. Of those people it's apparent that I must be the ONLY single girl in my age group. Aside from me you have single youths (18 and under) and single widows. Yep, that's it. So lucky me, right? Not so much.
Over the past few months there's a single gentleman who has made his interest in me pretty apparent. . . too apparent. But I thought I was equally apparent in my lack of interest without going to the extent of coming out and verbalizing the fact that I find him creepy. He's the type that stares at you, invades your personal space, and has THE VERY SAME conversation with you EVERY WEEK for the purpose of having an excuse to talk to you. I have found myself skipping Sunday School on many occasions just to avoid close quarters with this guy. Yesterday, he finally mustered up the courage to actually ask me out. AARRGGGHHHH! I wasn't offended that he asked me out. I know how un-nerving the dating process can be and I know how uncomfortable the fear of rejection can be. What I was offended by is the fact that he, again, comes to me with THE VERY SAME conversation he does every week, and when I think I'm free to leave, he grabs me by the arm to pull me closer to him so he can "ask me a question." He proceeds by asking me if I'd attend a concert that night with him, all while being too far into my personal space and making me completely uncomfortable. Needless to say, I kindly offered my regrets to his proposal.
Aside from creepy boy (who we will protect by leaving nameless), last week I had an older gentlemen (I'm guessing he's in his 60s) ask me how old I was and if I was seeing anyone regularly. Of course he had to do this in front of people who were sitting around me who could hear and see this exchange. Needless to say, they all erupted in laughter, and I was left a lovely shade of red as I had found myself more embarrassed than I have been in some time. Now, I understood he wasn't asking me for his own interest, but that is what all my spectators thought which made the situation that much more uncomfortable. The kind gentleman was thinking of his 35 year old son and thought that he'd like me to meet him. He went on to "sell" his son to me by telling me what a great guy he is and what he does for a living and what things he enjoys, etc., etc. His sales pitch came after I kindly offered my regrets to his proposition.
If this sort of activity continues, I think I may have to find a larger church where I am not the token single girl. I enjoy being the center of attention, but this type of attention makes me very uncomfortable.
Note to all my friends and my fellow church congregates: If you have someone you're trying to set me up with, my first impression is that person must be desperate if they need you to find them a date. If they truly are not desperate, I suggest a better way to introduce us is to arrange a time when we'll be in a common place and allow us to decide for ourselves, naturally, whether or not we want to meet without you suggesting to either of us that we should meet.
Note to someone who thinks they may be interested in me: If you find yourself flirting with me and I seem kind but am not flirting in return that means I'm too nice to be rude (and there's a chance that I enjoy your company), but I'm not interested in you romantically. If you find me girlish and smiling and returning your flirtations, chances are I'm enjoying you and wouldn't mind the opportunity to get to know you better. Oh, and try to be more creative in making conversation with me from one week to anoter. Please don't start every conversation with "So, how's Madison doing?"
posted by Forever Amber at 12:05 PM
6 Comments:
I have a hard time feeling sorry for this guy who I happen to know is close to 20 years older than you. Has been unreasonably particular about who he has been willing to date in his many single years and now finds himself begging. Not that anyone needs to be desperate to want to date you, on the contrary...you are a fine catch...however, he is no fisherman.
WOW! I didn't realize he was THAT much older than me. GROSS!
Ugh...that is SO annoying. The church my roomie and I go to is exactly the opposite though. TONS of 20somethings. But dating there is really dangerous...if not for the "dating for marriage" concept that leaves some people high and dry but also for the fish-bowl effect.
Hmmm...I might have gone ahead and met the 35 year old. It's tough meeting people these days. But the older guy that can't get the hint? Yick! *shudder*
I hated dating...hated it. Not even for fun...the last guy I went out with before dating Kris (my husband) told me he was 1/3 Chinese...and he was serious. I decided to order the cheesecake in order to have at least something good to say about our evening together. Kris and I didn't date so much as just hang out together...we were too poor for real dates and it was one of those things where we already knew that we were it for each other. All we had to do was have a few more conversations, a ring and a ceremony to seal the deal. God makes it so easy when He does the setting up.
Ugh! I remember people trying to "pawn off" creepy guys to me as well. "But he's so talented and sweet"! Which is code for "He wears wranglers jeans pulled up to his chest and he's got no social skills".
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