Sierra Sodan

On Monday night, after tucking Madison into bed and leaving her room she called me back because she said she had something she needed to tell me. Usually, this would just be a bed time stalling tactic, but in this case she really did have something she wanted to share with me that was important. She began to tell me about Sierra, a friend and classmate. She told me that Sierra had been in a very bad car accident with her mom and brother and that she was seriously hurt and in the hospital. Her eyes filled with tears as she told me that Sierra was hurt the worst of the three and that her back is broken. We prayed about Sierra and her family that instant.

After speaking with parents who knew greater details of the situation, I realize just how serious Sierra is hurt. Sierra's mom was driving both the children from Mt. Juliet back toward their Donelson home, when she had a seizure (for the first time ever in her life!). It was during that seizure that she crashed into a pole. Sierra was indeed hurt the worst of the three. She did break her back and the seat belt cut her stomach and ruptured her intestines. She is in ctitical condition at the Children's Hospital under a fictitious name to keep the situation very private. She is in a drug induced coma currently and she is undergoing surgery today. I've heard another parent say that she's not expected to make it, but the school is not telling the children that.

On our ride home from school yesterday afternoon, Madison told me that the class is raising money to help Sierra's family. Not only are their medical expenses going to be astronomical, but the step-father has also had to take time off work to tend to his family's needs. Madison asked if we could take her piggy bank to the class to help with the effort to raise some money for the family. She went further to suggest that we take the big piggy bank (as she has a couple) because they needed every bit of help they could get.

I write this post, not to ask you to contribute toward this family (though your contributions would be welcomed if you chose to), but to ask you to pray for this family and for Sierra's miraculous recovery. I also write this post to just remind you (and myself as well) of how precious every moment in life is. I've thought of this family everyday this week since hearing of their tragedy and I can't begin to fathom how this situation has rocked their world, or how I would cope if I were in their shoes. If you've taken the time to read this post, I hope that you'll take an additional few minutes to say a quick prayer for Sierra and her family. Her brother, Logan, was treated and released and is staying with his maternal grandmother. Sierra's mother is still quite injured and remains in the hospital but a full recovery is expected for her.

I'll update my blog as I have new information regarding each of them.

Thank you, in advanced, for your prayers and consideration for this family.

I broke down this weekend.

It's not often that it happens, but every now and again I internalize too many things and eventually they fester.

First of all, I have a problem with never saying no. I am the "yes" girl. I can't stand having to say no to someone. I like to solve everyone's problems. I'm the solutions girl. Even if you don't ask me for a solution, if I know of a situation, I instantly start trying to find a solution. So, this being my personality, I tend to take on more than I should. So, currently, as usual, I have a full plate. Actually, the plate is beyond full, and is over flowing.

Secondly, I am about to turn thirty. Just typing that line has sent me into tears again. It's bothered me all year, but now that November has truly creeped up suddenly and is here, the revelation that it's unavoidable has smacked me like a Mack truck. Now, I'm going to get very girlie, emotional on you and tell you the cliche that we've all heard and we've all said, but truly this is how I feel right now and the aging factor doesn't help at all . . . I don't feel attractive and I'm not at all happy with my figure. O.k. that's all I'm going to say to keep from dwelling there. (Wiping away tears and trying to gain composure to complete this post.)

Thirdly, with November, comes Thanksgiving. My family is meeting in North Carolina for the second year in a row. Last year was my all time favorite Thanksgiving memory and I'm excited that everyone's coming to North Carolina again this year. I have the shortest drive and LOVE that I can so easily join them for this holiday. HOWEVER, this year it is Madison's year to spend Thanksgiving with her dad. I don't want her to. I want her to be with me and my big family and all her cousins. I know that the BEST place for Madison is with me and my family that weekend, but I don't have a right to ask for that, and I don't have an ex that would do something selfless for the benefit of our child.

Just for fun, let's throw finances in there too. I love living from paycheck to paycheck and choosing which bills I'll pay each month in order to stay afloat.

If that's not enough, for kicks, let's throw in the fact that my family was bunkered down for ANOTHER hurricane this morning and at present I can't get a hold of them. Yesterday, our Pastor jokingly opened service with "Aren't you glad you're not in Florida today?" As the congregation cheered agreeing, I quietly said "No, actually, I do wish I were in Florida today." Not that I want to endure a hurricane, but if my family is enduring the hurricane, I'd much rather be there with them to go through that together than to be here like an island.

So, there you have it. Just some of the burdens that finally grouped together to make their attack. Any one of them alone, probably would not have stood a chance against my naturally optimistic demeanor, but grouped together, they came in like an army prepared for takeover. Sadly, for them, I don't give up too easily. I may be wounded, but I'll persevere. Have no fear.

Pockets Marie Parsons

That's what my name was going to be. No, really. I'm not kidding. In 1975, the year of my birth, my mom had named the unborn child she was carrying, Pockets Marie Parsons. My older brothers received biblical names, Joshua and Jacob. I don't know if it was the revelation of carrying a girl that sent my mom searching for an odd name or if she was under the influence of narcotics. Either case is very likely. Luckily for me, sometime before the day of my birth she met a woman with a daughter named Amber and my mom fell in love with the name as she had never heard it before. This chance encounter changed my name forever. I'd like to meet the other Amber's mother to thank you.

I've often imagined how my life would be different with a name like Pockets. Could you see the knick names I'd have in today's society. . . Polly Pocket, Hot Pocket, Pocket Rocket, to name a few.

There's not too much you can do with the name Amber. I think the worst teasing I received was in early elementary school, when some of the older elementary students (boys, of course) learned in science about Ambergris, a secretion from the sperm whale. . . essentially whale throw up. The boys found it amusing to call me Ambergris and to remind me repeatedly that it was whale throw up. Is that the best you can come up with? Really, look it up. Ambergris, albeit whale throw up, is quite valuable. Check out http://www.ambergris.co.nz/about.htm.

The Ambergris knickname didn't stick more than a few weeks and never spread further than those boys. Now, had my name been Pockets, I may not have survived adolescence to be typing this post now. I'm surprised that the Hollywood Celebrities haven't used that name for one of their spawn yet. Oh, the day they do, I will have the biggest laugh.

Nobody wants their child to have the most common name, but I think some people go overboard in trying to offer their child a "unique" name. Pockets sure is unique, but I'd prefer a slightly more common name and leave my personality to define me as unique.

Mowing and Reaping

Maintaining a household is a lot of work. Cleaning the house, staying on top of the laundry, cooking, mowing the grass, trimming shrubs, weeding walk-ways, not to mention other maintenance things that come up from time to time. . . painting, light bulbs, faucet repairs, etc., etc. I understand why people hire house keepers, lawn people, and nannies. I'd hire them too if I could afford to. I'd "rent a husband" to help me get my normal chores done, but I don't. I'm counting the days until Madison is old enough to truly make a fair contribution toward these household chores. Right now, she's responsible for keeping her room clean and it's nice that at least she's at the age now to do that. That's one room off my list. Now, as she gets a little older, maybe I can hold her accountable for cleaning the bathroom, and then the den, etc. Slowly, I'll get her cleaning the whole house. That will just leave the yard for me to do.

I'm straying from where I had intended for this post to go. I mow my grass. It's really not that big of a deal. I have 1/4 acre standard Nashville lot. It takes me around an hour to mow the front and back yard. A couple years ago, there was a sweet, very young (they were 19 and newly married) couple who lived next door to me. One day as I was coming home, stressed over the revelation that I had to mow the grass that day and it was already a full and stressful day, I pulled onto my street to find my front yard mowed. I instantly cried at the thoughtful and loving gesture that my young neighbor mowed my grass for me. I think the tears may have also been a release of the stress that was bound inside me that day. He didn't know that I was having a stressful day or that I was stressing even more about having to come home to take care of the yard. He just knew that it was a small gesture that anyone could appreciate. His timing was perfect.

I had returned the favor from time to time. Whenever I would mow my front yard, I'd just do theirs at the same time. They've since moved out and a new couple has moved in. I have continued this tradition. Whenever I mow my grass, if theirs is due and I'm not in a hurry to get somewhere, I'll go ahead and mow their front yard too. It warms my heart to know that while they're away I am secretly mowing their grass. They've only said something about it once as they were curious as to who was mowing their grass, but I don't need their thanks or praise. I know firsthand how awesome it feels to come home and realize that such a chore has been erased, so I'm happy to do it.

I believe what goes around comes around. We've all heard that saying, but truly, I believe it. As I've mowed my neighbor's yard countless times, I believe I'm seeing my returned blessing in the form of a friend working tirelessly in my back yard preparing the spot where we're going to put a pool. What we thought would only take a few days, has taken a month and a half and we're still not done. I could post mind numbing details as to what is taking so long and why this job has turned out to be so laborious, but just trust in knowing that I have truly been blessed in this situation.

So . . . go mow, and see what you may reap.

Dear (insert Supervisor's name here):

Please accept this correspondence as a formal record of my disappointment in our latest pay increase. Greater than my disappointment in the amount allocated for my increase, is my disdain for the method used to come to this amount.

It is my understanding, per our discussion, that the firm used a "grid" method to reach the percentage of increase that would be offered to each employee. Your further explanation of this system left me with the understanding that our names were placed on a grid and then our current salaries were compared to the salaries for similar positions in our local market. To stay competitive with the local market, "appropriate" increases were determined.

I understand the analytical nature of our industry, however, I am not a number and I do not fit on a grid. I am a person with unique talents and abilities that I bring to the group. There is not a day that goes by where I am not complimented and reminded of how unique I am to the firm and how much I "bring to the table." As much I appreciate the verbal affirmation of the value I bring to the group, it is void when such affirmation is not backed up when it comes time to "evaluate" me for a pay increase. There was no evaluation of me, my work, or my talents for my pay increase, but instead only an evaluation of what my current salary is and what the market says it should be. The problem with that system is that I don't believe you could truly frame my particular job responsibilities (and those things I'm depended on that don't necessarily fall under my responsibilities) into a title or position that fits on your grid.

If this were my first year with the firm and I was still trying to find my "fit" here, I would not take issue with the amount allocated for my increase or for the method used to attain said amount. However, I've been with the firm, loyally, for nearly eight years now and have developed relationships here to the extent that many people choose to bring certain tasks to me (whether or not they are technically my responsibility) because, in their words, I am the only person they can trust. I could go on with a list of items to "sell" myself and what my value is to the firm, but I don't feel it is necessary. I believe the people I work with in our local office are well aware of my value. However, those responsible at the firm-wide level for evaluating pay increases find my value to be lackluster enough that I can be compared on a grid. I shutter to think that those in my office would agree that I (and all I do here) could be compared on a grid.

Respectfully,

Amber Hunter

I'm the token single girl.

Not exactly a title I revel in, but it's true. My church has 200-300 people on any given Sunday. Of those people it's apparent that I must be the ONLY single girl in my age group. Aside from me you have single youths (18 and under) and single widows. Yep, that's it. So lucky me, right? Not so much.

Over the past few months there's a single gentleman who has made his interest in me pretty apparent. . . too apparent. But I thought I was equally apparent in my lack of interest without going to the extent of coming out and verbalizing the fact that I find him creepy. He's the type that stares at you, invades your personal space, and has THE VERY SAME conversation with you EVERY WEEK for the purpose of having an excuse to talk to you. I have found myself skipping Sunday School on many occasions just to avoid close quarters with this guy. Yesterday, he finally mustered up the courage to actually ask me out. AARRGGGHHHH! I wasn't offended that he asked me out. I know how un-nerving the dating process can be and I know how uncomfortable the fear of rejection can be. What I was offended by is the fact that he, again, comes to me with THE VERY SAME conversation he does every week, and when I think I'm free to leave, he grabs me by the arm to pull me closer to him so he can "ask me a question." He proceeds by asking me if I'd attend a concert that night with him, all while being too far into my personal space and making me completely uncomfortable. Needless to say, I kindly offered my regrets to his proposal.

Aside from creepy boy (who we will protect by leaving nameless), last week I had an older gentlemen (I'm guessing he's in his 60s) ask me how old I was and if I was seeing anyone regularly. Of course he had to do this in front of people who were sitting around me who could hear and see this exchange. Needless to say, they all erupted in laughter, and I was left a lovely shade of red as I had found myself more embarrassed than I have been in some time. Now, I understood he wasn't asking me for his own interest, but that is what all my spectators thought which made the situation that much more uncomfortable. The kind gentleman was thinking of his 35 year old son and thought that he'd like me to meet him. He went on to "sell" his son to me by telling me what a great guy he is and what he does for a living and what things he enjoys, etc., etc. His sales pitch came after I kindly offered my regrets to his proposition.

If this sort of activity continues, I think I may have to find a larger church where I am not the token single girl. I enjoy being the center of attention, but this type of attention makes me very uncomfortable.

Note to all my friends and my fellow church congregates: If you have someone you're trying to set me up with, my first impression is that person must be desperate if they need you to find them a date. If they truly are not desperate, I suggest a better way to introduce us is to arrange a time when we'll be in a common place and allow us to decide for ourselves, naturally, whether or not we want to meet without you suggesting to either of us that we should meet.

Note to someone who thinks they may be interested in me: If you find yourself flirting with me and I seem kind but am not flirting in return that means I'm too nice to be rude (and there's a chance that I enjoy your company), but I'm not interested in you romantically. If you find me girlish and smiling and returning your flirtations, chances are I'm enjoying you and wouldn't mind the opportunity to get to know you better. Oh, and try to be more creative in making conversation with me from one week to anoter. Please don't start every conversation with "So, how's Madison doing?"